Our neighbor has clandestinely routed the overflow drain from his pool so it flows right under our fence line and drains into our yard. Now the garden has turned into a swamp, the shed is close to flooding, and because of the chlorine I don’t know if we’ll even be able to plant in that area any time soon. I wonder if I should return his “neighborly” kindness by calling the county and have them dig up his beautifully manicured lawn and re-route the pipe elsewhere; or, should I actually be a good person, confront him about it and see if he confesses. The water has creeped halfway through the yard and is inching towards the house. Maybe I should resort to a more youthful tact and bombard his pool with rotten apples and rocks like I did when I was a kid! Maybe I should wait till the end of the season for when he drains his whole pool, wait for the house to flood completely, and sue for damages and get a new house… Decisions decisions! What would you do? Opinions are welcome!

I was engaged to this girl once and one day she ups and disappears on me. Later that day I find my grandmah’s locket, her engagement ring, and about $10,000 in gold bullion missing from my safe; but her belongings were still here. I didn’t think she had taken them; I was mistaken. Later that day one of her friends calls me, tells me someone’s beating her. So I rush over and find a cul-de-sac full of cops, an ambulance rushing from the scene, and her friend in hysterics. I get to the hospital and find out that she had been cheating on me with this guy; she had pawned all of my shit in order to rent an apartment and put a downpayment on a car to share with this douche. He had returned her kindness by slicing her with a machete from wrist-to-elbow. When I got there she confessed to stealing, cheating, and she broke down in tears; she kept saying I was too good for her. Against my advise, she told the cops that the wound was self inflicted; they didn’t believe her but couldn’t do anything about it. I waited patiently for them to sew her up, took her to dinner, and brought her home. I forgave her, convinced our “love” would conquer all… and she agreed. Convinced that she was ok, I got into the shower. I got out, dried off, and upon exit, found all of her belongings gone. No message, no note, just an empty bed. Her friend called the next day, said she had came back that very night and they moved out together. I still see her every so often when I drive down the freeway; A new bruise purpeling a fresh patch of skin every time. I spent a week or two trying to convince her to leave him: she didn’t even have to come back to me, I just wanted her away from him. She demanded I stop calling her, saying I was stalking her; I granted her wish. Later I found out that he cut her because she was trying to call me to come pick her up, to save her from the beating. It still rips me up inside when I think about it, but you know what? She was right: I was too good for her, I didn’t deserve that crap.

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Betrayal or Truth?

Posted: July 19, 2013 in My Life

Here’s a question for you:  Say you’ve had a friend for over ten years and you trust him with your life.  In ten years, this man has been there for me through thick and thin, helping me get through DT’s, getting me a supply when I’m low and my connects are dry, and even visiting me in the psych ward when no one else wanted anything to do with me.  Ive fronted him hundreds of dollars in goods, currency, and work.  I’ve bent over backward for this guy, paying the doctor’s bill for his sick girlfriend, getting his medication for him when he’s sick, sacrificing my medication because he runs out too early, hell, I even shipped him a month supply when he was out of town.  After 10 years, there have been some bumps on the road of course; I’ve lost money, he’s lost money; I’ve gotten robbed, he’s gotten robbed, but it was all substantiated… until now.

 

And now this.  I was told he’d help me out, he said he’d make it better… I trusted him.  He last left my house with one-twenty, promising he’d be back in an hour with my product… but he never showed.  No answer on the phone the next morning, I couldn’t even leave a voice mail because it was deactivated.  Finally after an hour of waiting he messages me and tells me he was robbed.  To trust or not to trust, that is the question.  The addict in me says to find him and demand an explanation, but the human in me says to have faith, trust, and believe.  I’m leaning towards the addict route right now unfortunately.

Bayer Brand Heroin

Bayer Brand Heroin

For four years now, I have successfully abstained from shooting any foreign material into my body, and it has been absolute hell.  Throughout the world, addicts and stories of their recoveries are bandied about AA and NA meetings by “addict bards” that sing their own praise to the world.  They encourage others that “You just need time, support, and the serenity prayer; and all will be right in the world.”

Not to knock the serenity prayer (I say it at least twice a day), but it takes more than time, support, and prayer to overcome a deadly disease.  Addicts need to know that the struggle they prepare to embark upon will be a very long, and a very difficult battle.  No amount of outside encouragement, motivation, therapy, prayer or love can ever get them clean.

Addicts need to make up their own mind, they need to convince themselves that they are worth help, they need to make the decision to help themselves.   As the old adage goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.”  The same is true for an addict (or anyone with a mental health condition).  You can talk to them, you can encourage them, you can drive them to the treatment center, you can prostrate yourself on the ground in front of them and beg that they accept help, but you cannot force them to do something that they wont accept.  All this causes is resentment, hatred, despondency, and rejection; further perpetuation the deadly cycle of addiction.

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Floating along  in the land of Morpheus

Carried along on Opium infused clouds

Lost in the semi-substantial aether

Carry me away to a land of no more pain.

I’ve been waiting now for three days.  I swear I have the laziest drug dealer in the world.  Not only that but i fronted the bastard two-thirds of my xanax scrip.  I hate how people think they can take advantage of me; I’ve been far too nice in my lifetime.  I’ve invited guests into my home, because they had fallen on hard times, and in two months my friend returned the favor by lying in court and getting me locked up.  Another friend stayed for a few months, told me she loved me, then disappeared into the night with thousands of dollars, pounds of gold, and my bleeding heart.

The old man at work one hot summer day

When a sexy young thing approached to pay

Her deep green eyes glowed a playful twinkle

and her lips turned up in a sly crinkle

 

Her beauty stunned him, he could not talk.

Asking her would be foolish; all would balk.

Instead he asked her friend, the next in line

He got her number and it went through fine.

 

Hanging out a bit he wanted Susu

Thoughts of her were there, with nothing to do

He had a lover that he was pledged too

Thoughts of her left him torn, damn that Susu!

 

They talked and texted all throughout the night

Until the morning sun became too bright

They agreed to chill one crisp autumn morn

But he was anxious and could not perform

 

Through those few months, feelings grew rapidly

Soon his girl found this infidelity

Her pain was great and he could not handle

He had loved her, but it was a scandal

 

Guilt built up inside for the pain he had caused

Just give him some tar and all problems solved

Addicted again and run out of cash

He does something dumb, he does something rash

 

Police, roadblocks, lasers, kevlar and all

None of which are fun whilst in withdrawal

Lawyers’ fees, psych ward, and 5 days in jail

He got off light, with probation and bail

 

He told his girl he needed time to heal

She stayed by his side throughout the ordeal

They grew further apart as time flew past

They both knew that it would never last

 

One bright summer day a call from the blue

Low and behold it was little Susu

Alone in the rain with no place to go

She needed help so a rope he did throw

 

He told his girl what had befell Susu

She demanded he move in under threat of castration

Forbidden from seeing her, his heart wept and cried

So he sacrificed his bed so Susu could stay dry

 

Five day’s later she had found a new place

He had stayed faithful and had held a straight face

He dropped her off and said goodbye

Lacking the willpower, he looked her in the eye

 

The twinkle was still there in those deep green pools

I wanted to say fuck that shit and break all the rules

Her lips bent into a grin, she screamed for one last kiss

But he ignored his heart, and this he will forever remiss